Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know who the president of Turkey really is

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I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I can read

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I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

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I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

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I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Is there anything wrong with me because I'm still single?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Why do some people refuse to explain their actions or behavior when asked? Why do they claim to not know the reason instead of providing an explanation?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Do all rocket engines emit harmful gases into the atmosphere during launch?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Why did Britain steal Gibraltar from Spain?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

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I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I see through liars

Do all therapists specialize in one specific type of therapy, or are they trained in multiple types?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Do you think Taylor Swift will pay a price in the marketplace for endorsing Democrats?

I don’t buy bullshit

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Placeat minus alias eum quo.

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I actually pay taxes

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have a reading level above third grade

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I can count

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”